Violence happens abruptly The world spins in ways we can never know for certain. Uncertainty is the only certain thing We will never know for sure what will happen But know for sure who we will be No matter what happen don’t flinch These are the messages arising from this trip. Life altering and fate shifting events such as Tet Offensive in 1968, the fall of Saigon, the 1986 Renovation, the refugee crisis and the fall of Soviet Union all took us by surprise. Dr. Home Nguyen warned us that we are living in a time even more difficult than his. We are fighting a world war more dangerous, and not as obvious. It is a psychological and spiritual war. And climate change is threatening the livelihood of all beings on this planet. Especially for Vietnam where the Mekong Delta is expected to sink into the ocean within my lifetime. That is half of Vietnam from the South to be lost. In the North, there is the ever-presence danger of China insidiously trying to absorb our country. The generational fight for our survival and independent continues. It seems as if our country’s fate is hanging on a string—unstable and unpredictable. I feel as if there is a darkness that is waiting to consume us, and it had been waiting for a long time. As I put these words down, i am sensing a chill deep in my spine feeling strangled i want to vomit or do I want to become it? this darkness is well alive within this body. it is not far away. it is real, and it is here in my lustful desire for things never meant to last -- young bodies and faces power to destroy and to kill in haunted footsteps that take me further and further away from who I really am in the dreams when water consumed the city i loved leaving only mass bones unearthed from centuries ago when our people killed other people and erased their existence which cannot be erased because they have became the ground in which I am living on the air in which I am breathing in the rages and cries a sad song a chant buried deep within my soul War is still with us in ways we don’t know. “It doesn’t end with a date, but passed down for at least two generations.” And like my friend observed: “it is more terrifying than what we already know, and can ever know.” What does this mean for a country that is at constantly at war, or preparing for war like Vietnam? Who will we be when we’re at war again? And more importantly, who are we when we are not at war, with outsiders, with each other, and within ourselves? Nguyễn Duy Liêm
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intro8/1/19 ~ 8/10/19 archives
November 2019
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